February is a time when thoughts turn to love. Flowers are ordered, chocolates purchased, dinner reservations are made. But ‘love’ isn’t a word that’s often invoked when we think about leadership. What if love, however, was at the center of our leadership journey? If our work is rooted in love, our relationships, both personal and professional, should reflect both compassion and passion.
For leaders working in the nonprofit space, love should be central to our work…love of mission, love of community, and love for those who join us in this important work, whether as part of the team, as volunteers, or donors. What would happen if our mindset about workplace relationships was that of a family? What would happen if we allowed intimacy (not romantic) to shape our leadership style?
In a 2021 article for Forbes, Leaders of Love: Transforming the Workplace, Colleen Reilly explores this concept of love and intimacy, asking the question, “What if we became leaders of love?”
She writes, “Love, no matter what form it comes in, helps people incorporate safer behaviors into their everyday lives, reduces anxiety (worry, nervousness), lowers the chance of developing depression or another form of mental illness, and increases flourishing and thriving.”
Loneliness and isolation have become an epidemic in our country and the trends are worsening. By engaging staff, showing love, and taking a real interest in their lives, we can create a sense of connectedness and belonging that reduces loneliness in the workplace and improves outcomes for the organization and those who work within the nonprofit space.
An article on the website mostlovedworkplace.com titled What is the Psychology of Love in Leadership explores this sense of connection further, writing, “In values-driven leadership research, Colonel Joe Ricciardi found that employees who feel loved by their leaders are far more likely to view them as good leaders.”
When I read this, I thought it was obvious. But then I thought, what makes our team feel loved? Does the concept of creating a work environment predicated on love lose out when we’re crunching numbers, up against a deadline, or dealing with the everyday minutiae of running our organization? Not if the concepts laid out by Ricciardi become what I’m thinking of as our leadership love languages.
Leading with love doesn’t require grand gestures, he says, it can be as simple as:
- Noticing and asking about new family photos in an employee’s workspace.
- Remembering personal milestones and offering congratulations.
- Writing a handwritten thank-you note for excellent work.
“Importantly, intimacy in leadership is not romantic — it’s about trust, presence, and respect. For example, when an employee says attending a child’s school event matters, a love-driven leader will try to accommodate their schedule.
“Some leaders even go further by supporting employees with bigger goals, such as offering guidance on financial planning, connecting them with resources for home ownership, or mentoring them on personal development. These acts demonstrate care that goes beyond tasks, showing that the employee is valued as a person.”
When I think about my own experiences in the workplace, I felt the most “loved” when my ideas were heard (maybe they weren’t always used), when I felt appreciated, when both personal and professional milestones were recognized, and when there was the freedom to have fun.
When we lead with love, we create an environment where trust, respect and loyalty flourish, mental health improves due to a sense of well-being that leads to reduced stress and anxiety, and people feel supported.
Year after year, employee feedback tells us what people want most from work. While pay and benefits are important, feeling appreciated and respected remains a top reason people stay or leave their organization. As a leader, make your own list of what your love language is for your team. What would be on your list of how can you show love for those who work with you and for you? And while you’re making that list, don’t forget to include the ways you love and take care of yourself.
Rogers GPS Consulting 
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